ow to build a
healthy marriage
that lasts a lifetime...

What is the Marriage Course?

The Marriage Course is very practical, giving any married couple the tools to build a strong and healthy marriage that will last a lifetime.

Over seven evenings spent together couples talk about important issues that can get swept under the carpet in the rush of daily life.

Topics covered include: recognising each other's needs, learning to communicate effectively, resolving conflict, healing past hurt, knowing how to make each other feel loved, relating to parents and in-laws, good sex, making time for each other and having fun together.

Privacy as a couple is always respected. There is no group discussion and no requirement to disclose anything about your relationship to anyone else.

What is involved?

Each evening begins with a candlelit meal. There is then a talk followed by an opportunity to discuss the topic together as a couple.

The setting is welcoming, relaxed and non-threatening.

Who is it for?

The Marriage Course is for any married couple who want to build a strong and lasting relationship, especially:

• Those who want to enhance their marriage
• Those in the first five years of marriage;
• Those at a challenging stage in their marriage,
  e.g. new baby, career change, teenagers, "empty nest";
• Those struggling with issues in their marriage.

The course, while based on Christian principles, is very helpful for any couple with or without Christian faith or church background.

How do I register?

Further details are available from the Church Office 91459688

Images and text © Alpha International 2003

The authors

The course was started by Nicky and Sila Lee in 1996. The Lees are on the staff at Holy Trinity Brompton – the London church that started the Alpha course. They have been married for over 20 years and have four children.

They have spoken to thousands on the subject of marriage and are the co-authors of The Marriage Book which has sold over 52,000 copies since it was published in 2000. They run The Marriage Course three times a year at Holy Trinity Brompton with around 100 couples on each course.

“We have been married for 20 years next April and have been best friends for longer than that. We thought that we knew each other inside and out, good and bad. We reckoned that we knew what was good and, sometimes, what was not so good about our marriage. In short, we considered that we had a really strong marriage built on solid foundations of love for God and each other and mutual respect. The last thing that we thought we needed was a seven week course on building a strong marriage – we already had one!"

“However, when we had the opportunity to go on ‘The Marriage Course’ with some other couples from ‘West’ we both felt it was the right thing for us. There is plenty of time for discussion together (and dessert!) on various thought-provoking topics but these are only shared with each other. Everything is confidential to each couple and that’s important as the issues are personal and not especially suited to group discussion. Having said that, there have been plenty of laughs as well, both with each other and in the group when watching the DVD!"

“We could not recommend this course highly enough – it has made a positive difference to our marriage. We are working hard to find ‘Marriage Time’ which is time dedicated to each other, every week, without distractions. With the busy lives that we lead that’s a challenge, but it is now an important priority."

“In summary - good food, fellowship together and a stronger marriage with foundations built to last – what’s to lose?!”

Geoff & Hilary

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“This is a course designed to benefit all marriages - from newly weds to seasoned campaigners. To begin with, the weekly candlelit dinners offer an oasis of peace just to spend time with each other. Then come the video presentations which are very well informed and presented (as one would expect from the church that brought us the Alpha course)."

“Most important of all are the discussion exercises, individually tailored to the various topics, and conducted entirely privately between each couple. This is where one actually has to apply the head knowledge of the course to the specifics of one's own marriage. Without these exercises, the course would amount to so much good advice. With them, you really do come to know your partner (and yourself!) that much better."

“Some might say that we could have just as easily done all that at home. Possibly true but would we, in fact, have done so? Probably not!”

Chris & Catriona

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"Loved arriving and starting with a meal. It is always a rush and a hassle getting out, kids organised and just getting there on time but once there, everything else could be left behind and it really is 'time out' for just us. Wonderful to have time for us to talk about our relationship and things that matter to us - and for that to be the agenda of the evening. In theory we can talk about everything, but in practice the practicalities of ordinary life, children, work,worries, concerns and so on, mean that we talk more about those things than remembering and discovering we have deeper thoughts and hopes and ideas and all manner of things in our hearts to share with each other."

"To date, the session on parents and background has probably been the most helpful for me. I've valued the opportunity to be able to raise and clarify some issues around that whole area and make some changes as a result. The most challenging aspect for me is taking on board something God has been bringing to my notice again and again - the realisation and acceptance that He doesn't want me to just know, or understand something about how He would have me relate to Jeremy - He wants me to DO it. I don't always do that. We have also discovered, yet again, both to our amusement and frustration, that we don't always interpret each other’s communication correctly!!!!"

Heather Eves

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"For me, participation in a course sets a different level of priority to spending one-to-one time with my wife compared to merely (even) putting a “date” in the diary. A date is moveable by negotiation, but a course happens on a pre-arranged fixed date which means it will be treated as a fixed priority. Where external pressures, (work, family responsibilities, church or social commitments) create time poverty, participation in a course is a great way to exert the primacy of the important over the merely urgent! Another example is having a personal trainer at the gym – one will go because there is a fixed appointment!"

"Meetings without agendas often produce little – neither fellowship nor results. Whilst almost all married life ought to be more intimate than the picture of a ‘meeting’, the idea of having a conversation around topics set by someone else is very helpful. Often we don’t find answers, simply because we don’t know the questions! Having someone else set some questions is helpful, even vital, in discovering new truths and hidden depths. This journey, taken together by us as husband and wife, develops the intimacy of kindred spirits. It moves us beyond merely the planning and discussion of daily ‘activities’ which so dominates most family life."

"Marriage is usually regarded as private, personal and nobody else’s business but the couple’s. However there is rarely any other area of life where we are sufficiently conceited to say that we ‘know it all’ or that external coaching is of no use. If we recognize the need to have others guide us, mentor us or show us the way in the development of spiritual life, then why should the discovery and development of Godliness in our marriage relationship reach its greatest potential only spontaneously? The Marriage Course helped to renew God-centredness in our marriage. It was, and is, a great way to keep at bay the weeds that so easily grow up and choke the good seed of Christian marriage."

Jeremy Eves

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“Manse marriage in trouble.” Eyebrows are raised and that’s the kind of response you sometimes get when you say that you’re doing a marriage course. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, have been able to talk through some issues, and cannot recommend the course highly enough."

Charles & Barbara

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“We have recently been attending the Marriage Course and would make the following comments:

• It has been really refreshing to take time out and spend it together as a couple.
• The evenings have been very relaxed and therapeutic.
• It has encouraged us to explore issues about our relationship which we may not previously have talked about (or even thought about!).
• Having a meal cooked, served and tidied away for us has been wonderful!
• The atmosphere has been friendly, non-threatening and above all light-hearted."

“We would strongly recommend the course to all couples regardless of the length of time married – as it offers quality time to self-evaluate your relationship.”

An enthusiastic couple

Details

Course commences:
Monday 7th September 2009 6.45pm - 9.45pm
(for 7 weeks)

Location: West Church Welcome Area

Cost: £80 per couple
(includes meals and manuals!)

Adrian & Amanda will run the course. Contact them through the church office for any further information you may require.

Listen:
Charles, Adrian & Amanda introduce the course:
wma - 372KB (2m24)

Download:
This article as rtf or pdf.

themarriagecourse.org is the official UK web site for The Marriage Course.