ho in their right mind would go to a marriage course?

Perhaps that would be better phrased, “who could get something relevant, practical, helpful from this course?” Truthfully, any couple.

Don't we mean any engaged couple? No, although obviously that was why the course was originally developed. From time to time married couples have come on the course and they have absolutely no trouble seeing the relevance of all the topics!! They really enjoy it.

What is it?

In order to get rid of some of the misconceptions and preconceptions that prevail, of which there are many, it is usually better for us to start by saying what it's not.  So, it is NOT

• someone telling you what sort of marriage to have;
• a whole load of 'churchy' stuff;
• bearing your soul about your relationship in a group.  There is NO group work;
• simplistic, bearing little relevance to real life.

So what is it?

Hopefully enjoyable, even fun! Perhaps the best way to explain it is to say that, basically, it is an opportunity

• to take time out, away from other commitments and demands to concentrate on increasing understanding of what strengthens and makes good relationships work;
• to help couples explore what they want from marriage and work out better how they are going to achieve it;
• to explore how committment to each other can be strengthened and enriched by their relationship with God.

The course is run over four weeks - one evening per week.

Course topics

There are four subject areas:

1. What is marriage? Love is....? What do you expect?
2. It's good to talk. Fighting as friends. (Communication, conflict and forgiveness)
3. Opposites attract/attack! Money matters. (Understanding and appreciating differences. Priorities, values and money)
4. Sex - Passion, Pleasure and Perspective. (Speaks for itself! Plus a look at related subjects!)

Each week we talk on the subjects for the session. There is then the opportunity to talk together as a couple (not in a group) about the subjects, using worksheets.

The most important aspect of the course is not what we say but what a couple say to each other in private about what we said! The aim is to talk through how the issues raised apply to their own relationship. We provide the structure to do that.

Why bother with a course?

We could fill a page answering that! In brief, 'working at it' is a phrase often applied to marriage, used to emphasize the importance of not taking a good relationship for granted. Some like the concept of 'working at it', some don't. Yet rarely is there an explanation of what the concept actually means or what might be involved. While we don't answer that question directly it is an underlying theme in the course that to look at what is part and parcel of the marriage relationship does not detract from it but builds strength into it.

Who runs it?

Jeremy and Heather Eves, married for over 20 years with four children.  We've 'grown into it' and thoroughly enjoy it. We often wonder if we benefit more than the couples.

Obviously a couple who live in idyllic married bliss in a state of perpetual passion with never a disagreement, difference of opinion or cross word. The trouble is some people think that has to be true!!

One of the drawbacks of being known to take marriage preparation courses is that people often make a mental leap and then say things like: "Oh, you do marriage guidance", or " You do marriage counselling".  No, we don't. "You're the marriage experts". No, we're not.

This course is like a refresher course for us, it's because relationships are a living, growing, thing and God's truth is powerful and active and cuts through all the waffle, speaking reality into our lives. We now work closely with Christian Marriage Ministries, based in England, and are involved in leading seminars on various aspects of the marriage relationship.

Why not come along to our next course - just sit in, see what goes on, experience it, enjoy it? See if it is something that interests you both. What do you need - a belief in God's grace and that His word is the basis for right relationships, plus a willingness to be open and honest about your own relationship.

Jeremy and Heather Eves

Essential details

One evening per week over four weeks.

We recommend this course for all who are planning to get married. Though as Jeremy and Heather explain the course has also been useful to many 'already married' couples.